NFL Week 2 Blog and My Favorite Thing About Each City Whose Team I Pick
Last Week: 5-8-1
Texans +6 at Bengals
I've never been to Houston but my senior year of college some buddies and I did a trip to Cancun for spring break. It was cheapest to fly somewhere, spend the night, and take the connection the next morning and for about a day it was looking like we'd be in Houston with a free night on our hands. So we're sort of brainstorming shit to do in Houston and my buddy Brett (who works in fancy-pants M&A finance and wears almost exclusively polos with the names of hedge funds on the sleeve) texts the group "God Fearing Fuck is playing a concert, just throwing it out there." I spit my beer out when I read that text. Just unprovoked out of nowhere. He'd never heard of the band it turns out but I've often imagined a group of quasi-broey college seniors from Minnesota going to a God Fearing Fuck show.
Side Note: I picked Houston in my Suicide Pool week one. Classic.
Browns +9 at Ravens
It's LeBron's chasedown block in the Finals last year. Manifest Destiny for LBJ in Cleveland over the MonStars is the best basketball performance I've ever seen. If LeBron dunks that shit on the last possession the Earth may have swallowed us whole.
Bills +7 at Panthers
It's this Youtube video. Enjoy.
Cardinals -7 at Colts
Probably the Indy 500 which is my favorite sporting event that I never watch. I'd really like to go party my face off in the infield once before I'm washed. I've always liked open-driver racing better than NASCAR because it's bougie as hell as opposed to hick city.
Titans -2 at Jaguars
I've only driven through there and never was into country music. I'd have to say Jack Daniels.
Eagles +5.5 at Chiefs
The fact that there was a fucking Disney movie about a garbage man turned field goal kicker played by Tony Danza. How stoned was the screenwriter?
Patriots -6.5 at Saints
The movie Celtic Pride. And the fact that the only time I was there I witnessed a drunken brawl in our section of Fenway and could not have been more amped.
Vikings +5.5 at Steelers
Bears +7 at Bucs
Everything. My favorite city. Wrigley. Wrigleyville. Lake Michigan. Lakeview. The L. Michael Jordan. The time I bribed a bouncer to get into a Hold Steady show. $90 Lyft rides to O'Hare. Kevin McAllister's family.
Jets +13.5 at Raiders
The fact that it's the best city in the United States and that you can get a hotdog within 200 yards of 24 hours a day. Kind of redundant.
Dolphins +4.5 at Chargers
The times my dad took me Tijuana as a youth. Came back from vacation stunting on my fifth grade class with a fake Rolex.
Cowboys -2 at Broncos
The time I watched jazz music v stoned after a Rockies game at El Chapultepec.
Washington +2.5 at Rams
The Swamp. Love the Swamp. Fill up the swamp.
Also the time I was the least interested person in the building walking around the Smithsonian while trying to follow the Gopher hockey NCAA game against Yale. Gophers lose.
Niners +14 at Seahawks
Packers +3 at Falcons
If it's not Outkast you're wrong and probably a cop.
Lions +3 at Giants
Favorite thing about Jersey is Jersey Shore the TV show. I used it as fodder to talk to girls in high school and look where it got me.