Tomorrow is one of my favorite days of the year, and no I don't mean the day Wendy's is giving away free Baconators at a Gopher Hockey game. It's Tommie-Johnnie, the one day a year that St. Thomas dresses up and plays pretend that it's an SEC school. It's pretty cool. In honor of drinking outside all day long tomorrow, I have prepared a list of Tommies and Johnnies for your pleasure.
Tommies (the good guys)
Tommie Brady--the handsomest and best QB of all time. Hot wife.
Tommie Hanks--Castaway is a great movie
Tommie Selleck--great moustache
Tommie Collins--great drink (closed-circuit Plum's, make a drink called this and sell it on Thursdays for like $3. That one's for free)
Tommie Watson--great golfer (Ryder Cup is this weekend, go US)
Tommie Petty--Last Dance with Mary Jane makes me tear up it's so good
Tommie Kelly--he won some World Series for the Twins or something
Johnnies (the bad guys)
Johnnie Wilkes Booth--guy shot Lincoln, what an asshole
Johnnie Hinckley--he shot a president too, and he didn't even die. Not only is he a dick but he's an incompetent dick. Fuck him.
Johnnie Starks--Reggie Miller and Michael Jordan owned him. Guy sucked and was thin skinned
Johnnie Wayne Gracie--never heard of him, but google says he was a murderer. Guy sucked.
Johnnie Cougar Mellencamp--couldn't decide what name he wanted and is a poor man's Springsteen
Johnnie Harbaugh--related Jim Harbaugh, so automatically an asshole. Also: said Ray Rice is a good guy after he beat his wife.
So there you have it. Tommies>Johnnies
Enjoy tomorrow, every one.