Friday, September 26, 2014

Tommies vs Johnnies

Tomorrow is one of my favorite days of the year, and no I don't mean the day Wendy's is giving away free Baconators at a Gopher Hockey game.  It's Tommie-Johnnie, the one day a year that St. Thomas dresses up and plays pretend that it's an SEC school.  It's pretty cool.  In honor of drinking outside all day long tomorrow, I have prepared a list of Tommies and Johnnies for your pleasure.

Tommies (the good guys)

Tommie Brady--the handsomest and best QB of all time.  Hot wife.
Tommie Hanks--Castaway is a great movie
Tommie Selleck--great moustache
Tommie Collins--great drink (closed-circuit Plum's, make a drink called this and sell it on Thursdays for like $3.  That one's for free)
Tommie Watson--great golfer (Ryder Cup is this weekend, go US)
Tommie Petty--Last Dance with Mary Jane makes me tear up it's so good
Tommie Kelly--he won some World Series for the Twins or something

Johnnies (the bad guys)

Johnnie Wilkes Booth--guy shot Lincoln, what an asshole
Johnnie Hinckley--he shot a president too, and he didn't even die.  Not only is he a dick but he's an incompetent dick.  Fuck him.
Johnnie Starks--Reggie Miller and Michael Jordan owned him.  Guy sucked and was thin skinned
Johnnie Wayne Gracie--never heard of him, but google says he was a murderer.  Guy sucked.
Johnnie Cougar Mellencamp--couldn't decide what name he wanted and is a poor man's Springsteen

Johnnie Harbaugh--related Jim Harbaugh, so automatically an asshole.  Also: said Ray Rice is a good guy after he beat his wife.

So there you have it.  Tommies>Johnnies

Enjoy tomorrow, every one.

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