These athlete endorsements aren't real but it would be really funny if they were!
JR Smith for Bentley—own the car he will have repossessed in 2020.
Jim Harbaugh for Values—Sportsmanship, don’t leave home without it
Antoine Walker for Pawn America—They give me a good price for all my memorabilia
Pete Carroll for Jesse Ventura’s show about conspiracies
Chris Paul for Microsoft—I’m exclusively a Surface guy now just as a thank you to Ballmer for bailing me out from Donald Sterling.
Curt Schilling for the Tea Party—After squandering millions from the state of Rhode Island he is totally against government spending, from experience!
Jonathon Papelbon’s appearance on NPR—I bet they wouldn’t like each other!
John Rocker for Rosetta Stone—learn to speak the languages of all the ethnicities this man hates
Marvin Harrison for his car wash—come get a fresh wash and wax, and hopefully not shot!
Antonio Cromartie for Trojan—I’m disappointed I actually took the time to type that joke. My dad has made that joke.
Vince Wilfork for Slim Fast—he’s fat!
Floyd Mayweather, Jr. for Hooked on Phonics—he is bad at reading
Joe Mauer for Land O’ Lakes—he already has this endorsement, yet I came up with it independently